Today I shopped for new pants.
I’m almost 10 weeks postpartum with my third baby, third cesarean birth, third postpartum experience.
I’m exercising and taking care of myself, more than any other recovery.
It takes time for the body to heal itself after the experience of child birth.
I know that takes time.
My body, once again feels different.
It’s like I have to reintroduce myself.
I’m going based on feels this time, not a number.
Truth is, my pre-pre-pre pregnancy pants do not fit. I cannot comfortably button them over the space my babies used to inhabit.
Three miracles have grown in a womb I never thought would be filled.
I hoped for it.
I prayed for them.
So here I am...somewhere between my maternity pants and OG pants.
My go to has always been, “I don’t want to buy new pants if I’m going to eventually wear my old ones” and also I didn’t want to get comfortable in a different size.
But I’m uncomfortable putting that kind of pressure on myself.
Did you know, If you type “postpartum” into your Pinterest search engine, you’re bombarded with ways to shrink yourself down fast after baby.
This is just an unrealistic expectation and frankly it tanks our confidence as a momma with our ever changing bodies.
It’s not a damn race.
I cannot subscribe to the idea that my worth is found in how quickly I can “bounce back”.
It’s one of the biggest problems I see with our society today...placing these pressures on individuals.
Commenting on a person’s body shouldn’t be something that happens, but it does.
And that new momma, she can feel it.
So slow and steady it is, appreciate my body as I go.
I will know when I’ve reached a place where I don’t feel as sluggish and feel good in my clothing.
These jeans are a big step toward that.
Mental health is so important. Not just in postpartum but at any point.
I exercise to care for my mental health not to shrink down. I listen to my body to honor what she has been through. I eat good food to nurture and give back to her what she has done and what she will continue to do for me.
So...I went to the store, bought pants to wear in this in between place I’m in.
Written & Posted 03/21/2021
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